Skinny Love
by Aberacadaera
Summary: What really happened during POI's "The Crossing" (or at least what I hope did) And how our beloved, and not so beloved, characters have been since.
1. Chapter 1: Too Much in So Little Time

**A/N: I never imagined that I'd be writing a fanfic, 1: because I cant write and 2: because I cant write. Ive been waiting for someone to write the perfect headcannon where Det. Joss Carter doesn't die, ive read a few and they're good but I'm going to try and show how I hope for things to be. Sorry for any grammatical errors, I typed this on my tablet. I hope this story will inspire a good writer, who will then make it better. I'm trying to stick to the storyline as best I can soo here it is.**

**Disclaimer: Anything relative to POI, I dont own, just the story. No copywrite infringement intended**

**P.S. Ed Sheerans Skinny **

**Love inspired me**

"C'mon skinny love just last the year, pour a little salt we were never here"

-Skinny Love by: Ed Sheeran

"Just stay with me..." John stared off into the distance, past Finch, with a lifeless Joss in his arms. Nothing left to do, to say. The terrible ache in his chest made itself known with every beat of his heart. His wounds became relevant to him then, only to have everything fade to black.

For a minute there Harold was truly helpless. He'd always considered himself a quick thinker, an intelligent man, a genius even, but now... what could he do? Two of the closest people in his life could be dead. The pay phone's incessant ringing stopped. Finch went over to the couple as fast as he was able and checked for a pulse. John's was faint, Carter's... a hard sob escaped Harolds mouth. He quickly ran back to his car then pulled up beside the two. He could hear the commotion inside the precinct, the cops had heard the gun shots and it was only a matter of time before they would get their weapons and come out to find a dead cop, a formerly wanted man, and well, him. He had to get John out of here. As he laid Reese across the backseat he contemplated grabbing Joss, his pace quickened when he heard the sirens and saw the cops cautiously coming out of the glass doors. Harold couldn't contol his tears as he pulled off the curb and scurried down the street, the scene of police surrounding Joss, getting smaller each second, through his rear view mirror.

* * *

"THAT'S DETECTIVE CARTER!" yelled Smitz

"The ambulance is on its way, i-is she dead?" Officer Tamara Dornes hollered over to her partner. She watched as a quarter of the 8th precinct scattered to find the shooter.

Darren Smitz, a rookie had come to admire Det. Carter a lot. She'd made a name for herself as an intelligent investigator and an unstoppable force 'The Woman Who Stopped HR'. Who did this? It had to be one of them. He kneeled down to check, not really sure if he could since his hand wouldn't stop shaking. An ambulamce pulled up beside him and the paramedics hopped out and ran over.

One EMT spoke "Pulse?"

Darren stood up, heart pumping, lost "I-I c-could tell s-she, that's Detective Carter, she's shot t-twice...I.." Never had he ever seemed so cluless. 'Much help' he thought to himself.

"Come on get her into the truck, one. Two. THREE!" The two paramedics put her on the stretcher, lifted her onto the gurney, put an oxygen mask on her and put her in the back of the truck. The driver ran to the front while the other stayed with Joss and started working with the other EMT in the back.

Darren ran up to them "Save her?" He meant it to come off as a command but it ended up sounding more like a plea. The doors closed and the ambulance zoomed down the road. Not even an hour ago he gave her a congratulatory handshake and in return she gave him a big smile and a thank you before turning and heading off to question the man brought in for carrying an unregistered weapon. He had lied to the paramedics sort of, he did check Det. Carter for a pulse, he just didn't want to tell them he couldn't find one. "I'm sure you'll figure it out..." He whispered to the faint sound of the siren off in the distance.

* * *

"Her wounds are closed, I've stopped the bleeding." EMT Anastasia Clerveaux stated. James was too distracted trying to get a pulse. He knew this woman, his daughter went to school with her son Tyler, Taylor? She always seemed so kind.

"Start up the defibrillator, CPR isn't cutting it" Anastasia unbuttoned the detective's shirt the rest of the way and did as she was instructed. James rubbed the two electrodes together. "One. Two. THREE. CLEAR! " The detective's body jerked. Still flatline. "One. Two. THREE. CLEAR" It jerked again. Still flatline "One. Two-"

"James-"

"THREE. CLEAR!" Jerk. Flatline..

"James, I understand your anxiety but we're here to TRY and fix her, now clear your mind and get it together."

"She has a **_son_** Tasia, she-"

BEEP

The two medics couldn't believe their ears, they turned towards the monitor and saw the dip in the line.

BEEP

They didn't waste time by looking dumbfounded. James started pumping her chest more, guiding her heart towards how it was suppose to beat. Tasia pumped air into her lungs. Carter's body was weak now but she was strong and it was responding.

"Good good, she's responding, " Tasia said to James while coaxing Carter, "You're responding, c'mon girl you're okay."

A voice then came over the reciever on James's shoulder "We're nearly here" Said the driver, EMT Kyle Corwin. The truck gently, but swiftly came to a hault. The back doors swung open. "Come on I got 'er."

"We got a pulse, she's a fighter." Said an enthusiastic Tasia.

They pulled the gurney out and rushed Det. Carter into the anxious arms of her nurses and doctors. Kyle and James stood back and watched Anastasia fill the doctors in on Carter's condition as they rolled her away.

* * *

"Sir, yes. Somethings come up...the detective and our little friend have been injured, mhmmm well I'm not sure, we lost him. Someone drove off with him. Maybe his boss, the 'man behind the man' Yes, I did call with **some** good news, the detective is in the hospital. She is alive, so we can go ahead as planned with just a slight detour... Sir, I'm on it." The accented man nodded to his driver and he and his crew were off to St. Johns.

**So whadjah think... too bad? Ahh idk**


	2. Chapter 2: Not enough

**A/N:**** thank yaw for the reviews suhweet hearts are what you are keep reading **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything POI, thats all CBS n' stuff (if I did we'd be seeing carter each tue. with sprinkles of careese)**

The car swerved to the left with a loud screech. Finch stretched up peering through his rear view mirror to look at Reese.

"Hold on my friend, please, I'm so sorry. " He pulled out his phone and dialed. "Ah Yes, Dr. Reinfield, remember when you asked if I ever needed anything?" Finch peeked through his mirror again. "Well I need you to get your old medical supplies out again, yes, I'm very aware you're retired, I'm also aware of the stolen surgical equipment in your basement... Yes, okay then." Harold turned right and headed down the road then pulled into the driveway of a suburban house, "no need to, I'm already here, come out and help me carry him in."

The front door of the house opened just as Finch was opening the back door of the car. "Him?" Dr. Reinfield asked hanging up his phone and jogging towards Mr. Wren.

"A friend." Harold stood back and let the more fit, more capable man help John out of the car and into the house. Before stepping over the threshold himself, Finch looked back to make sure they weren't being watched.

* * *

"It's been a while, you must forgive me if I'm a bit rusty." The doctor started to sanitize the tools. Reese was laid on the table in the makeshift ER of Reinfields basement.

"Is that necessary, we are working against time right now." Finch had reached his wit's end. Everything was a blur now, but he could bet this day would go down as at least a top 3 bad memory. So much has changed in so little time. One minute everyone was reeling from a fantastic victory, the next reacting to a horrific tragedy.

"You want this done and I'm doing it, but I'm a doctor and I'm going to do it right. " He stared at Harold a little while longer before turning back to his tools. "I'll do as you asked, no questions.. however." Harold stared at the man willing him to go on. "I need you Mr. Wren, to please go upstairs and relax, I work better alone, although I will holler if I need you. Which I honestly doubt I'll have to."

"Dr. Reinfield I don't thi-"

"Harold that wasn't a suggestion."

* * *

Harold was tired, but wholly unable to sleep. He looked over at the basement door every other second, he tried to stay as quiet as he could to hear the faintest of sounds. It was far too quiet.

"Poor Jocelyn." He didn't need a mirror to see his reddening eyes and cheeks. His face was becoming hot and his breathing becoming tight. So much loss in his life, mom, dad, nathan, joss, reese... At what cost?

The basement door opened then revealing the blood splattered doctor. Harold's face whitened but his expression of anxiety stayed put.

"He's stable, resting," Finch let out a breath he seemed to have been holding since the payphone rang not 3 hours ago. "You're free to see him, he's not awake and he needs to stay that way for a while."

"How long will he have to be here?"

"I'd recommend until he recovers, unless you have another medical facility to take him to, then in that case at least leave him here till tomorrow."

"The wife wouldn't mind?"

"Nah, she and my son are visiting her sister in D.C. for the week."

"Thank you Orlen, for everything, we are now even.''

"No, not until that man downstairs is on his feet, blankets are in the closet at the end of the hall."

.

* * *

Harold checked on John a few times and mourned for Joss until he accidentally fell asleep.

* * *

The phone rang again that night and Mr. Carter ran to answer it, "Hello?"

When Taylor walked out of the bathroom his father was frantically searching for his car keys and the phone was on the ground. "What's up dad? What's wrong?"

"You're mom, she's in the hospital. " Taylor said nothing else, just grabbed the keys off of the entertainment center and tossed them to his dad. He put on his coat and shoes and they were off.

...

* * *

"Hello?"

"Detective Fusco? This is Taylor Carter, have you heard about my mom?"

"Yeah, I was on my way to you, I'm so sorry kid."

"Do you know what happened to her?"

"No, not really... where are you Taylor? "

"... We're.. on our way to the hospital now.. so.. I'll, just..."

"Alright, I'll see you there." Fusco hung up and turned the car around heading towards St. John's. He'd had his breakdown on the way to Paul Carter's house. Where were Finch and Reese now? How'd they let this happen? He was hungry for whoever did this and he was pretty sure he knew who.


	3. Chapter 3: Sorry

**Disclaimer: I don't o****wn anything relatively POI. No copyright infringement intended**

"What did the boss say exactly?" asked the accented woman as she put on a nurse's outfit.

''He said 'handle it' so here we are, handling it. Tabitha, Ramono, and George, you're nurses. Phillip's on his way, he's the doctor. The paperwork has been processed and appropriated to make our identities seem legit."

"And what about you Elliot, what will you be doing?" Asked Tabitha

"I'm the muscle and brains, if anything goes wrong.. I'll fix it. We don't have time for error, her family will start to show up. She has to be dead by then, understand?"

"Yes"

"Yeah"

"Good, Phillip's bringing the stuff, all we have to do is wait for the detective to finish being patched up, she pulled through. When she's in her room Tabitha is going to inject the serum into her I.V. making her body seem as if it's rejected the medication and is going into cardiac arrest. That'll buy us the time we need to prepare for our exit. We'll give her the remedy for the serum once Phillip orders everyone out except for you lot. After a while we'll slip her a concentrated dose of tetrodotoxin making her appear dead. We'll then inform her family of her unfortunate demise and if they come to see her, they'll see a pale, cold, 'dead', detective."

"That's a bunch of Rubbish, it'll never work."

"All long as no one screws it up, it should. Like I said Carpenter has already handled our identification and assigned you all as the staff handling Carter. All we have to do is wait for Phillip."

* * *

...

"Ello, ello, ello." Phillip smiled as he strutted into the locker room.

"Not time for chatting, took you long enough already to get here."

"Straight to business, that's what I've always admired about you Elliot."

"Are you ready? We can't screw this up, this detective is and may be _the_ key to our boss getting what he wants from the 'man in the suit'"

"Let me get my coat."

"You have to be very convincing."

"I'm pretty sure American hospitals are not so different from British ones, I'm a real doctor for chrissakes, how much more convincing do I have to be?"

* * *

Taylor, held by his grandmother, stood up along with his father and det. Fusco. The doctor, Dr. Philip Casero, walked over solemnly.

"Don't pleeease dont, dont say it." Taylors grandmother, Doris, pleaded.

"I'm sorry-"

"noo please..."

"We, we did all we could." Phillip watched as the family broke down. Dr. Casero might work for a secret organization, but he doesn't hurt people, he heals them. You'd have to have no heart, to not understand their pain, but it's not like she's really dead. They just.. believe, she is.

"Can we see her."

"Of course." He led the mother, son, and husband to her room. The detective sat down with his head in his wrapped hands.

When they entered the room, Carter's son ran to her side grabbed her limp hand with both of his then kneeled down and cried. Her mother started weeping hysterically while Mr. Carter held her up trying to control his own sobs and failing miserably.

* * *

"What happened you sonofabitch? Huh, where was your special sixth sense of who was in trouble this time? Where's your pal?! My partner's dead and you two are AWOL!"

"Detective Fusco, I'm sorry. John was shot as well and, oh dear god, she's dead?"

"I have nothing left to say to you." Lionel hung up.

* * *

"Hey, Finch how long've I been-" John shot up suddenly then winced. Harold rushed over and attempted to lay him back. "Carter, how is she? Is she..?"

"Mr. Reese the doctor has strongly advised that you stay in bed until your wounds heal."

Reese laid back and took a second to take in his surroundings, he was in one of the safe houses, only this one had medical equipment in it, that he was hooked up to. "Harold. Joss?" Reese's vision became blurry as water welled up in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry John."

John stared at him, a blank expression on his face. The slow beep of the machine was the only movement in the room until John's eyes rolled up into his skull and he sunk further into the bed. Harold ran over to him, the monitor still beeped, Reese was okay, he just passed out from the pain.

...

* * *

Paul Carter opened the door for who had to be an employee of Richard's Funeral Home. It had been nearly two weeks since the tragic death of his ex wife and Jocelyn's body was still in the morgue.

"Hi I'm Marissa Stone, we talked over the phone." Tabitha tried out her American accent.

"Yeah, come in."

"I'm just here to get the uh, arrangements in order."

"Come sit, would you like something to drink?"

"No thanks, if its alright with you I'd like to get everything in order and be out of your hair."

"Thats actually perfect." He led her into the living room where Taylor sat with his grandmother. It seems as if none of them recognized her from the hospital. This made her job A LOT easier.

"So you have a date set?"

Taylor was the first to speak. "Next Friday would've been her birthday, I think thats it."

Tabitha looked to Paul for confirmation. "Yes? Alright then." She wrote it down. "Will it be a burial or cremation?" There was a long pause this time.

Doris spoke now. "I would like a cremation." She smiled off into the distance, you could tell she'd been crying nonstop from her hoarse voice. "Jocelyn, however, always wanted to be buried next to her father, s-so that's what we'll do."

Again Tabitha lookes to Paul for confirmation, he simply nodded. "Last question; open casket or closed?"

"I've said my goodbyes, I think seeing her again would drive me mad." Taylor looked as if he'd grown twice his age in two weeks.

"Taylor, don't you want to see your mother again? One last time?" Paul asked his son.

"No. Because it will be the last time... No More! I I can't even except that she's dead, my mom." Taylor rushed past everyone to his room.

"Closed. Closed casket." Paul told Tabitha.

"Alright, thank you, and my deepest regards go out to you and your family. I am so sorry for your loss." 'These people couldn't have made my job any easier if they tried' she thought.

* * *

That Friday had been the longest of Elliots life. Detective Carter's body was on its way to the UK, while her casket was being lowered into the ground. Elliot, Phillip, and Tabitha watched her funeral from afar, all the way until the last shovel of dirt was poured in the grave. Their work for now was done. Time to head back to England for Part II of the boss's plan: Get John

**A/N: Thats all that I had pre written, soo I probably won't be uploading everyday like I've been. I won't give up tho... unless it becomes crap then someone else can have it lol. Thanx 4 reading**


	4. Chapter 4: Hurt

**A/N: it's been a long time since I've updated lol sry. This follows the events of the devils share episode but with a Lil extra.****Disclaimer: I don't own anything relatively P. O. I.**

"What have I become

My sweetest friend

Everyone I know

goes away

In the end

And you could have it all

My empire of dirt

I will let you down

I will make you hurt"

-Hurt Johnny Cash version.

* * *

Harold sat there for a while looking at Reese. John had woken up a few times since he learned about Joss's passing. It was Friday, the day of Joss's funeral. The steady beat of the monitor was calming, that was too much for Harold. The world lost someone amazing, there should be riots. Finch stood up to grab his coat.. Time for one last goodbye.

* * *

Fusco watched as the casket was slowly lowered into the ground. Goodbye Joss, why you? This had to be a nightmare, this couldn't be real, everything was just starting to turn around. They got HR, he and Carter knew about each other's involvement with glasses, he wasn't crooked... Why now? Why her? Taylor and Paul sat opposite everyone, Doris had fainted and was now sitting in the back row praying. Carter truly was loved, there were people everywhere. Her family and friends, Fusco didn't miss Finch and Shaw staring from afar either, or the bits of spectators, probably just grateful citizens, splattered around. There was something off about those three people over on the hill across the cemetery, but Lionel didn't think too much into. Today was Det. Jocelyn Carter's birthday... and her funeral.

* * *

By the time Finch got back, as expected, John was gone. He'd hoped he'd be at the funeral, but he knew John wasn't ready. He hadn't seen Shaw since that morning.

* * *

A new number came in... Simmons. Finch had a bad feeling that this time Simmons would be the victim, and one of his own would be the perpetrator.

* * *

He had to get out of here, cops were every where, looking for him. He'd bought a fake ID so he could get out of the country. With almost all of HR gone he had a few connections, but those connecttions couldn't get him out of jail if the clean cops got him, And they damn sure couldn't bring him back to life if the man in the suit got him. Simmons never considered himself a punk but he wasn't ready to get locked up or die.. yet. He had a plan to run for a few years then send for his family later, but now he just had to get out.

* * *

He'd done it dozens of times, used a false ID to get out of most situations. Only Simmons didn't have the intel of the CIA or a genius in his pocket, so John knew exactly where to go. He knew Simmons first move was to leave the country and since he just made New York's most wanted, he'd need a new identity. the three men who sold him the ID came into view, Reese accelerated and rammed their car with the hotwired truck. He then got out and made his way towards them. His head was cloudy, but his objective clear. He limped to the burning car, the only one who seemed to be conscious was the idiot in the back. The man pleaded for help while Reese held up Simmons' photo and demanded answers of his whereabouts, he said all he could, which wasn't much but it was enough. The sound of the man's cries and the crackling of the fire died out as John walked away.

* * *

Fusco summoned Finch to the car wreck he believes Wonderboy had something to do with."Witnesses put our pal, the psychopathic vigilante, at the scene."

"Which one?"

"You mean both your stray dogs are off the leash? This was the handiwork of tall, dark and deranged. And I shudder to think what the other one's up to."

"Simmons number is up. And I don't know if it'll be Sameen or John who gets to him first."

"Everyone wants Simmons, but this scorched earth campaign will make the search harder. As is turns out these three men worked for a forger named Seamus Yorke, they could've helped Simmons escape. That would explain why John did this."

"Well then Mr. Fusco, we need to find Yorke before Reese or Shaw, or there'll be more blood on our hands. "

* * *

Finch and Fusco arrived to find Sam with a strung up, injured Mr. Yorke. She explains that Reese broke his legs and then she found the man later."Why are you even trying to stop him? Let him get his revenge. Those scumbags deserve the worst."

Finch pauses before he answers, they do deserve what's coming to them, but not this and not from John. "Our friend's injuries are life-threatening Ms. Shaw. Now are you going to cease your little revenge journey and help us find him?"

"Fine, but the only way to find Reese is to find Simmons first."

Mr. Yorke, who Finch had forgotten was there speaks up and says that, "Alonzo knows how Simmons will escape the city."

Fusco agrees, "But the Feds won't give me Alonzo's location."

"We can track Quinno through his lawyer, Jimmy Ransone." Finch says immediately. The three then take off, leaving the criminal hanging.

* * *

Fusco and Sam get to Ransone's office and find him dead, tortured with cigarette burns and then shot.

"This is amateur work, not Reese's style."

Fusco comes across the security tapes and discovers Reese."He's in bad shape, but look.. " He points to the time on the computer screen, "he left five minutes before the Russian mobsters came in and killed Ransone. Alonzo turned evidence against the Russians so now they're after him too."

"There's only one person who can tell us where Alonzo is now. "

* * *

"Finch, we need Root."

* * *

"You do what you say. So do I. I'm not gonna threaten to kill you. I'm going to kill you... whether you tell me or not. No bargaining. In three minutes... you're dead. I've killed many people. Never bothered me much. That's why I was good at it. I didn't like them suffering, though. Took me years to figure out how to do it quickly, painlessly. But if you don't tell me, I'm gonna forget all that, understand? And I'll make the last three minutes of your life last forever."

Quinn couldn't tell if this man was serious or not, but he didn't want to find out. Alonzo writes down the information on Simmons and Reese takes it. Just as he prepares to shoot Alonzo, Finch comes in."Carter sacrificed everything to bring down Alonzo on legal terms." John pauses, "you can kill Alonzo if you want, but don't fool yourself into believing it's what Carter would have wanted."

"Why didn't we just kill him in the first place, saved the trouble.. The lives." Reese asked before he collapsed.

"Our purpose, John, is to save lives, now let me help you. "Reese thinks about what Finch just said but this time the pros outweigh the cons if Alonzo' s dead. Despite Harolds touching words Reese tries to shoot Alonzo anyway but the gun doesn't fire.

"Even in death Joss?" Reese pushes out a humorless laugh. Fusco comes in and tells them to get Reese out while he makes sure the Marshals take Quinn back into custody.

* * *

As they drive away, Sam says that they should be going after Simmons.

"We have to make choices and I don't intend to lose another friend."

Root then speaks up, "You know Harold, The Machine never said that Reese was the only one who wanted to kill Simmons."

* * *

As the Marshals take Alonzo out, Fusco picks up the directions that the crime lord wrote down...

* * *

"Get it over with, will ya?" Simmons looked up at his old colleague. He was ready to die, no regrets.

"That's just it. I could've been just like you, a bottom-feeder who turns on his own kind. For what? Money, power? I got lucky. I had a partner. She was good for me. For a lot of reasons. She reminded me that I could be good again too. I could be a good father, a good friend. A good cop. I'm not gonna let you undo all the good she did. Carter saved my life. She-she saved me from myself. Because she believed in me. And I'm not gonna throw that away on a piece of crap like you. Patrick Simmons, you're under arrest."...

* * *

John laid back down in his bed, newly stitched because the old ones didn't last. It seems as if the world wanted the villians to live and the heroes to die. He couldn't live in a world like this, he had to get away... OW.. As soon as he was healed he had to get away...

* * *

Simmons looked across the room at the criminal, the dim lights in the room casts shadows on his face. "Then why the hell are you here?"

Elias smiled, "Well, there remains a debt. Civilization rests on the principle that we treat our criminals better than they treated their victims. That we not stoop to their level. But you and I are outliers. We're not really a part of civilization. We're something... older. Which means, of course, that we can do the things that civilized people can't. I offered to kill you for Detective Carter many times, and she always said no. She was civilized to the very end. I don't think she liked me. But I liked her very much. And you killed her. So now I consider it my responsibility to fix the particular problem that is you, Officer Simmons."

"You really think you're gonna be the one to kill me?"

"No. No, my friend is going to kill you. I'm just gonna watch."Just then scarface stepped out of the shadows with a Garrote wire.

* * *

OW... What the hell? It's oww so bright.

"Don't move, oh I'm sorry- the sun." The strange woman laughed and closed the shades. It takes a while for her vision to clear up but once her eyes adjust she sees the hospital room she's in. "Are you feeling okay, I'm Amber, your nurse."

"Where am, oh nevermind," 'duh stupid you're in the hospital. "How did I s-surv-"

"Survive? You're strong, but do try not to move so much the bullet that hit you scraped your heart. You're very lucky, any wrong step and you wouldn't be here, oh and happy birthday Joss. "

The English nurse left before Joss got a chance to ask all the questions she wanted to. Something felt off but she was tired.. very ti-

**DANK YU FER Readin**


	5. Chapter 5: It'll all be over soon

**(kinda short but watevs) This is taking place sometime during episodes Aletheia and Lethe A/N: WHATS WITH THE REVIEWS! I'm feeling too much love, thank you all! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything relatively P O I**

* * *

Joss awoke for the second time that day, only now it was dark. The heart rate monitor to her left caught her attention, putting Joss in a sort of trance. A soft tap at the door knocked her out of it.

"Ello dearie, how are we feelin' t'day?"

"Not much really, numb. Thanks." The plump nurse offered her a small smile before checking the newly sanitized stitches on Joss's check chest. "Amber, is it-"

"Yes, I'm surprised you remembered, you were under so much drugs-"

"Where's Taylor?"

"Your boy? Oh, most likely at school.. He came and saw you a few days ago but your doctor has been very strict on the 'no visitors' policy he's enacted." Amber shook slightly as she came up with all that off the top of her head, Joss may have caught it if she weren't so 'under the influence'

"A few day ago.." Joss repeated slowly, "How long have I been here?"

"Two or so weeks... My dear, you were shot in the heart, The heart. I'm flabbergasted you're not in a coma or worse.." A tear tricked down Joss's cheek as she stared at her nurse. The silence in the room was filled with the sounds of the city outside, it didn't sound like New York. Amber must've seen the change of emotion on Joss's face so she tried to distract her. "So that nice young man is your boy, raised him right you did, very polite." That did it, a whisper of a smile formed on Joss's face. "He stayed strong the whole time during the surgery, your mother was hysterical... That just means she loves yah though."

She couldn't take it anymore and started crying. Ignoring the twinge of pain on the left side of her chest she reached up to cover her mouth, trying to smother the sound of her sobs. "I need to see them so that they know I'm fine.. Please."

"You'll have to take that up with your doctor dear." Amber gave her an apologetic smile then turned and headed out leaving Joss there to cry herself to sleep.

* * *

"So you're the doctor huh."

"Yes ma'am, Doctor Phillip Casero." He said while going over her charts.. never meeting her eyes.

"What are the chances of getting a British nurse AND doctor?"

"Small world."

"Are my injuries so bad I can't see my son?"

"I only said no visitors when your mother was in hysterics. That stress is not good for you, especially in your condition."

"I've been here what, two weeks? Knowing my mother, she was calm days ago."

Phillip looked her in the eyes then. "Mrs. Carter, right now you're in a special medical facility that specializes with 'critical care' patients such as yourself. A few more days here, under close observation by my staff and I, then you are to be moved to a regular hospital where you are free to have as many visitors you'd like and all you'd have to worry about is when you get your stitches out. But for now, you're my patient so you'll abide by my rules, your care is on me so... Relax. "

Not knowing how to reply, because a lot of that made sense Joss simply shook her head, "I don't think I could sleep anymore."

"I'll have Amber bring a few books and magazines, you do read don't you detective." He smiled teasingly.

"That sounds good, get word out to my family though, will you? Let them know I miss them."

"Will do. I'll stop by later, you're recovering quite well Jocelyn. You'll be okay- it'll all be over soon. " For some reason that last remark sent a shiver down Joss's spine.

* * *

"So Elliot couldn't come himself? Doesn't he realize how crazy you drive me Tabitha?"

" Oh, shut up Phillip, have you no filter of what comes out of your mouth or are you really that dumb."

"Dumb enough to become a doctor-"

"Here we go again."

"I came from nothing, a small orphanage with nothing to offer-"

"yeah yeah you grew up, juggling two jobs and school to make a name for yourself and years later here you are whoopdy-doo Casero."

"You know I still love you, even when you're makin' fun." Tabitha looked as if she was ready to shoot him right there in the lobby in front of everyone. "Okay, smalltalk over. Aside from me of course, why are you here?"

"How's our friend?"

"Detective Carter is healing right now, heartbeat; normal. If she weren't on bed rest you'd think she was a visitor, not someone recovering from a GSW to the chest."

"So she's ready for transport?"

"She just flew thousands of miles, give her a few please."

"Alright, I'll be back Monday, but just remember... Alistair is waiting. "

"It's not fair you get to call him that."

Tabitha smiled, "Well he likes me." She said before she turned and walked away.

* * *

"Amber my darling. Have there been any suspicions from other faculty members about our patient?"

"No sir, just gossip about that brunette you were talking to earlier, some of the nurses are jealous."

"Even you."

"Oh sweet boy I'm old enough to be your mother."

"Ha, I don't have a mother. I don't know why that's funny but it just is."

Amber shook her head as she turned away then quickly added. "Oh but I've a feeling Carter is getting a little suspicious, she is a detective after all."

"That's being handled, she's scheduled to move in two days.. Then she's no longer our problem. Just do your best to keep her ostracized from everyone else."

"Yes sir, I've even covered the windows." She turned once again.

"And Amb, bring her some books and magazines, ones they sell in America."

**It may seem like I'm dragging my feet with this story.. I'm juss tryna stay realistic (notice I said trying, not succeedin-na(?)) **

**Thanx 4 readin **


	6. Chapter 6: Now we're gettin somewhere

**A/N: I hope you all know I upload as soon as I'm done writing... I wrote chap. 5 Today... I wrote this today Feb 3rd 2014**

***sigh* the things you do for love, I just wanna hurry along before I lose my purpose or whatever. Takes place during episode 4C with John on a plane... Just with what's happening with Carter. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything relativel **

Joss read the letter again.

_'I miss you mom. More than words can express. I never thought about what I would do if I lost you, I just never thought I would. It's crazy, the world, how it tries to rid itself of all the good, like it doesn't deserve it. That's all you've ever been mom, good and I miss you. '_

It's almost as if he thinks she's dead. Her tears were starting to soak the page.. This was definitely Taylor's handwriting. She read it again.

It was Sunday today, Carter was grateful she was strong because Dr. Casero allowed her to sit up, walk, AND go to the restroom by herself. She was getting tired of Amber. A sad smile formed as she thought of her son, he was all she seemed to think about lately. What the hell did he mean about the world getting 'rid' of her. 'it'll all get cleared up when I see him' she reasoned.

"Sunday Joss, time to thank God you're alive." She told herself. Joss slowly made her way off the bed and onto her knees. She clasped her hands together and closed her eyes. "Dear God, Jesus.. Thank you for giving me a second chance. I promise I'll slow down, be more careful, and spend more time with those I love. I know no one's guaranteed a tomorrow.." Joss wiped her eyes and looked up, "but thanks for giving me one."

Amber walked in just then with Joss's lunch. "Hello sweetie, you're moving tomorrow are yah ready?" Joss noticed how sad Amber looked.

Joss slowly stood on her feet careful not to move too much of her upper body... still sore. "It's been a few days, don't tell me you're already attached." She teased.

"Well you're one of the sweet ones honey, I just wish the best for you. Everything I did- Everything I said-"

"... Yeah I know, come here." Joss gave Amber a hug, she thought it could get any more awkward until Amber started to cry, then Joss felt that same wave of suspicion that had come when ever something rubbed her the wrong way. Something was off something was about to happen, she just didn't know when or what.

"Ladies.." he entered.

"Dr. Casero, I was just giving Joss my goodbye." Amber turned her attention back to Joss. "I won't be assisting you tomorrow dear, in fact I'm retiring. You were my last patient. That may be another reason why I'm so emotional." She turned to leave then glanced at Casero. "Phillip." She nodded.

"Yeah I'll catch up with you later mum."

Amber left then, but not without throwing a sad smile towards Joss. "Well that was unexpected.. She was nice." Joss added upon seeing the somber look on Casero's face.

"Yeah, she's been here since I started 8 years back."

"Any news Doc.. Don't tell me I have to stay here longer."

"Ha no no, actually your transfer has already been arranged."

"Well good, not that you and Amber weren't great, but I'm ready to go home." Joss how Casero's Adams apple moved as he gulped. "What?!"

"Nothing, it just r-remarkable your injuries were so great, so devastating. But look at you now, shot in the heart and your standing before me. It's remarkable, YOU're remarkable."

Joss blushed a little, she actually blushed. 'What the hell?' Dr. Casero must've noticed based on his smirk. His lopsided smirk, kinda like.. Johns.. JOHNS? 'John! Oh my god John!' Was he alright the last thing she remembered was him telling her to hold on...

"Jocelyn! Mrs. Carter calm down please.. Just, just sit here." He guided he'd back to the bed. "What? What happened, what was going through your mind?"

"I'm just excited to go home is all, I mean see my family."

* * *

Later that night Joss sat and went over everything and everyone: Taylor, John, Fusco, Finch, her mom, Paul... Elias? How were they now? Two weeks- no contact. Without her to hold everything together.. How were they functioning? If the we're at all she joked.

At 11:59 P. M. Joss heard her door open causing her to quit pretending she could actually get some rest. It was Dr Casero and another tall figure: a man, he was wearing a suit.. Joss opened her eyes trying to get a better view in the dim room.. Nothing. 'Could it be?' she wondered. Had John found a way around Casero's 'no visitors' rule.

"Ah Joss you're awake," Casero said it like it was a bad thing, "Well then let me explain what's going on." He said as he sat down on the right side of her bed taking the I. V. tube connected to her arm in between his fingers.

Her pulse accelerated and his eyes shot towards the monitor, a smile playing at his mouth. 'Dammit, fucking heartbeat monitor thing... What the hell is going on? That man was definitely not John or else he would've walked out of the shadows by now.' We're they about to rape her? She thought frantically.

"What do you mean 'explain' explain what?" Joss glanced once again at the man across the room, she tried to move but immediately felt light headed. Looking over to Casero she saw him extracting a syringe from her I. V. She couldn't move and her vision blurred. She tried to say something or scream but all that came out was muffled mumbles.

"Jocelyn, dear." She felt his hand on her cheek, "We aren't going to hurt you. Just know that. We aren't going to hurt you. My friend here just needs you for a few things then you're done.. Do you understand?"

She nodded a few tears escaping her eyes. She knew it, she knew that something wasn't right, she was just hoping she was wrong.

"Good, it's alright dear. It'll all be over soon. Elliot come help m-"

She knew it.. She knewww

Then everything faded to black.

* * *

"oww." Joss sat up, her head was killing her. She rubbed her eyes and turned her body so that her feet were dangling, barely, off the side of the twin sized bed. Her back rested on the wall it was attached to. She looked around the room. Last night's events playing in her head. Casero and Co. drugged her, took her on a hellova bumpy ride, drugged her again when they realized she was awake, then put her in this 'room'. they kidnapped her, her doctor kidnapped her, if he was even a doctor. Somethings made sense now though, like how she couldn't see her family, Taylor's note: they thought she was dead. No wonder she got weird vibes from Casero and Amber too, 'oh no' that hadn't even occurred to her yet 'was Amber apart of this too?'

She looked around her room, cell? Room? "I don't fucking know what to call it!" It was a giant cube. Her prison like bed was to the far left if you walked in through the door. Directly across from the door was a giant two sided mirror like the ones in interrogation rooms. To the right of the mirror the was a call button and speaker, she guessed for 'communication' to the right of the bed was a mirror and sink with a razor and a toothbrush and toothpaste. In the middle of the room there was a cement table with two cushioned chairs by it. And last but not least there was a changing wall for 'privacy'

"What the hell have I gotten myself into this time?"

* * *

Finch sat across from a red eyed John in Italy, how crazy

"I miss her a great deal too John. "

**Okay I just need to get to here... Kind of a fill in chapter :) **


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